It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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