You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
