so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
