I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize