I look better un-naked...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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