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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER

  (1-641): View more from Iowa

  STOP listening to that song

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• (650): View more from California

  I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.

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• (+04): View more from

  I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans

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• (516): View more from New York

  he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in

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