is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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