their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
