As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize