Someone shit on the floor
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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