Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize