shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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