Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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