I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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