I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
NoShamevember. You game?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize