what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
