I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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