:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
