I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize