My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Green mimosas i think yes
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
