I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Enjoy the penises
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize