The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
