When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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