help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Found your dick twin last night
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Randomize
