unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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