If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
