I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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