So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
im holly from the hills drunk
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
