We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
