yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
