just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Let's get the cat blown out
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
