remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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