Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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