You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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