either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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