2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It's Friday. Sex?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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