I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He kissed a someone with a penis
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
