She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
