When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Everclear isn't food dammit
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
