ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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