similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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