I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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