so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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