There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
