My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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