the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
