Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just gift wrapped bread.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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