morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
