i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
