Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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