I don't usually arrange sex via text message
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
