hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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