Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
