Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
