i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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