i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im six kinds of drunk right now
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
