I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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