I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
