Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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