I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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