Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
