he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
