I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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