His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
