Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
