I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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