the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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