I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize