best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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