i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
