Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
