AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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